
Friday evening I attended an art exhibit at
The Jaffrey Civic Center in New Hampshire. I went early because about a year ago I was receiving exhibit entries in their library and saw three volumes of Van Goghs letters, with his
letter sketches included. I told myself I would come back to spend some time with them. I own a copy of Letters to Theo, but I had never seen most of these sketches. They are amazing! And it always does one good to reread his letters. The following passage gives me the determination to keep painting and try to have faith that I will improve. Above all though, to have a little patience with myself:
... I can tell you that dissatisfaction with bad work, the failure of things, the difficulties of technique, can make one dreadfully melancholy. I can assure you that I am sometimes terribly discouraged when I think of Millet, Israels, Breton, Debroux, so many others... one only knows what these fellows really are when on is at work oneself. And then to swallow this despair and melancholy; to be patient with oneself as one is - not in order to sit down and rest , but to struggle on notwithstanding thousands of shortcomings and faults and the uncertainty of conquering them - all these things are the reason why a painter is unhappy too. Of course, this being Vincent, he adds:
The struggle with oneself, the trying to improve onself, the renewal of one's energy- all this is complicated by material difficulties.He did manage at one point to purchase a portable paint box which he badly needed; however he wrote some time later that he had to spend more money having it repaired, as it was damaged when he had to suddenly jump down a bluff to avoid an escaped out of control horse. And I complain about the mosquitoes!
A bit of interesting information for plein air painters: Vincent wrote that he heard of a method Corot used for judging values when painting out of doors. Corot evidently was in the habit of bringing along a square of white linen, and another of black velvet which he would throw on the ground in front of him.